


Ar lath ma (I love you)

by angelontheoutskirts



Series: Queen Erica [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Family, Fluff, Gen, Guilt, Happy Ending, Mentions of past abuse, Mother-Son Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 05:09:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6360790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelontheoutskirts/pseuds/angelontheoutskirts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sweet scene between Alistair and Fiona, important questions are answered. Takes place shortly after Mother's Intuition but can be read as a stand alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ar lath ma (I love you)

“Did you ever want me?” He asked her softly. Fiona looked across the table at her son; hunched over slightly in his chair, eyes locked downwards at the hands in his lap. All the confidence and bravado he seemed to have in public has vanished and he seems more a shy little boy than King of Fereldan. She reached out to take his hand and his hazel eyes met her face. She smiled softly.  
“Of course, mon petit.” She told him, but she knows he needs a better answer. Her thumb traced a thin scar on the back of his hand. How many of those does he have? How many could she have prevented? “I’m sorry my actions ever made you think otherwise. There is nothing I regret more than not being there for you when you needed a mother.” The hand that she isn’t holding reaches up to pull the amulet he’s wearing from where it had been tucked under his shirt.  
“Was this really yours?” She nodded.  
“I wanted to protect you Alistair; I prayed that the Maker would watch over you even if I couldn’t.” She took a deep breath. “Your father asked me to stay. He wanted us to be a family, he wanted to acknowledge you.” Fiona shook her head. “I thought it would be best for you if you didn’t know about me…and you suffered because of it.”  
“You didn’t have it easy either.” He argued, and tears formed in her eyes. Her little boy, forgiving her for things she has no right to be pardoned for. How many nights did he spend huddled with the dogs in the kennel? Or out in the stables? How many beatings did those chantry sisters give him when his only crime was being himself? How much damage has been done to the baby who smiled up at her every time she held him? ‘Did you ever want me?’ his question echoed in her head, and she moved around the table to hold him in her arms. He blinked up at her, surprised, unused to affection, another thing she’ll continue to blame herself for but he didn’t push her away.  
“You were the best thing ever to happen to me.” She whispered. “And I gave you up.” Fiona carded her fingers through his strawberry blond hair.  
“You thought you were doing the right thing.”  
“I made you grow up alone.” Her fingers, reached down to meet his on the amulet. “I made you grow up thinking you weren’t wanted. I made you grow up thinking that you weren’t loved and I will never forgive myself for denying you a family.” She bit her lip. “Your father was so happy when I showed you to him, surprised naturally but so happy…he would have given you the world… he loved you so much Alistair. He’d be so proud of you.” She pressed a kiss to her son’s forehead. “So proud of you.” She heard a small sniffle and Alistair’s head bobbed as he nodded. They sat like that for a moment, her perched on the arm of his chair, cheek against the top of his head and arms around his shoulders. They both fought back tears with deep breaths and sheer stubbornness before he broke the silence.  
“So…do I have a middle name?” And that’s what does it. Her laugh echoed throughout the room and nearly knocked her from her seat. With a smile on her face she nodded.  
“Kell, your middle name is Kell.”  
“Alistair Kell Theirin?” He tested it out on his tongue.  
“Your father suggested Loghain.” Fiona told him and felt him shudder. “I talked him out of it.”  
“Thank the Maker…that would have been…” he shuddered again.  
“So we decided on Kell, after one of my fellow Grey Wardens who saved your father, Duncan and I from the Deep Roads. We thought it would be fitting.” She smoothed a particularly stubborn cowlick. “Luckily you weren’t a girl; I don’t think I came up with a name for a daughter.”  
“Lucky me.” He sighed, slumping against her as she combed her fingers through his hair. She could tell his eyes were closed and she smiled.  
“This used to work when you were a baby too; was the only thing that would get you to sleep sometimes. Duncan used to tease that you inherited my nightmares. You’d scream for hours and we could never figure out what was wrong. Then I’d hold you against me, stroke your hair and you’d close your eyes and sleep till morning. And when morning came, you’d be just the biggest bundle of smiles and giggles, all of your Father’s charisma, even back then.” Fiona looked down at him, his head resting against her shoulder. “Ar lath ma.” She whispered.  
“Ar lath ma, Mamae.” He answered her sleepily. She pressed a kiss to his forehead and closed her eyes.  
“Don’t you ever forget that Alistair.”  
“I won’t.” He promised.


End file.
